Big City Dating… or The Terrors of Tinder

Alright, I’m just going to come right out and say it. Living in a big city can get lonely. Yes, there are literally millions of people around me all the time, but tricking them into a conversation, that’s the challenging part. In the words of almost all my pals “But how do you meeeet people??”

And the answer seems to quite often be “…Tinder?” followed by a very hasty cringe.

So yea. I did it. I downloaded Tinder. And the results were — how do you say? — frightening. So here’s a very visual trip down my dating journey:

First up, what’s with all the NZers??? I came to this side of the world to get away from them all! Also, I’m not swiping on someone who has 20 common connections. Nope.

 

Then I got into the comedy territory, which, you know, gives you a little boost as you wade through the sea of womp.

18109946_10154830184614191_337677689_o
I am a fan of a cat orphanage

 

But then I very quickly realized that I’d made a massive mistake, and had to exit comedy territory immediately.

18052422_10154830184804191_1099858878_o
Dat pun doh

 

And then there are the ones that make me want to rip off all my skin and toss my sinuous body off of tower bridge.

 

In the grip of blind terror I had to fling my phone to the other side of the room and burn a bushel of sage when this guy came up. Each picture was him getting a little bit closer. Oh my life! Why!?

18090839_10154830185044191_477906696_o

 

Now it wasn’t all bad. I did go on a few dates. Including a guy who cost me £50 in cocktails. FIFTY POUNDS? DAMN IT LONDON!!! I was living off rice for a week to make up for that one.

And then the other day I had a date all lined up when this happened:

18109535_10154830186114191_1254483579_n

Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was talking to Liam freeking Neeson???

Oh life, what are you like. I think I’ll just stick to books.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Big City Dating… or The Terrors of Tinder”

  1. Some of the profiles I’ve seen are horrible! Some are funny , clever and even douchy. I can definitely say you’ll never know what you’ll find but that’s what makes it kind of interesting I guess.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s